An improvisation theatre troupe plucked random Surrey Comet articles from a hat and used the stories to inspire their act on Sunday, March 7.
Four-strong comedy group the Maydays brought their hit show Tonight’s Top Story to the Rose Theatre’s Culture Cafe to raise money for Endometriosis UK.
Audience members cut out articles before the performance and placed them in a hat at the front.
One article was about a hoax call to Radio Jackie about a body in a park.
The actors used the line that a police helicopter was “unable to respond due to bad weather”, to launch into their piece.
One actor said they had not called police about a major incident because they would not bother to do anything.
The other actor replied: “You’re right it is a bit muggy.”
She then listed all the people she had bothered to phone, from cards in the telephone box to a random man that owned an Indian restaurant but moved shops to open a Thai restaurant.
The troupe then burst into a seamless chorus of: “We are the cops who do all play and no work. Sometimes life can be a joke but it’s all play and no work.
“Some people diss the work we do but hey, how about a game of buckaroo?”
The event was organised by Rose Theatre employee and endometriosis sufferer Rachel Denyer, 27, to raise money for Endometriosis UK, ahead of a national awareness week for the illness, on March 8 to 14.