Crime has been going down across south London and north Surrey and perhaps the way these criminals approach their profession explains why.
1/ If you're going to take part in a huge gun-smuggling ring, don't photograph yourself holding a gun, especially if you have a distinctive tattoo.
Prisoner and girlfriend guilty of running machine gun smuggling business using Parcelforce
2/ Just because you are the son of a sheikh doesn't mean you can lead police on a merry chase through town, especially if your driving is this bad
VIDEO: Sheikh's son leads police on nail-biting chase around Kingston's one way system
3/ Only in Croydon does a man get attacked from behind with an axe and walk away bragging about it. Liam O'Brien said that the blow to the head felt "like a pillow".
His attacker tried to get away by Gatwick but got that wrong too and is now behind bars for a long time.
Man jailed for 45 months for axe attack outside Croydon bar
4/ Hide your crack cocaine somewhere - but not your pants. You will get caught.
Crack in his pants - drug dealer found with £1,000 worth of cocaine hidden in his underwear
5/ She's only young so it seems harsh to add her to the list but when onlookers filmed this assault on a vulnerable boy saying: "I'm trying to tell [her] but she's not listening. She's going to get herself put in jail or something" she didn't listen.
Her line: "I'm gonna smack this yute" uttered in the video which ultimately convicted her made her famous around the world and she was sentenced to time in a young offenders' institution.
VIDEO: 'I'm gonna smack this yute'
6/ Not a criminal. He came forward and apologised after seeing this video of his extraordinary threatening rant go viral and the police were never involved. But was he dumb? We definitely think so.
7/ When Gary Thompson shouted "Give me the money!" the bank teller replied "f*** off" - so he did. Now behind bars.
Bank robber left empty-handed after cashier told him to f*** off
8/ Their own CCTV nailed them. But from the grin on convict number two you wouldn't think he minded.
Carshalton drug factory gang's own CCTV helped find them guilty
9/ Matthew Pirotta attempted to throw the bags into the Thames, but missed...
10/ If you're going to risk your liberty to steal something, don't steal something fake
11/ Dumb or geniuses? On the one hand they got caught. But on the other; they maintained a huge cannabis factory not far from south London's biggest police station for a long time.
Have we missed one? Let us know by commenting below
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