Bridge Banter: Terrible toilets at Stamford Bridge finally Champions League standard (From Surrey Comet)
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Bridge Banter: Terrible Chelsea FC toilets at Stamford Bridge finally Champions League standard
If Chelsea’s ambition can be measured in signings, this has been a good summer.
Other clubs got their fingers caught in the closing transfer window, but the Blues had already been to the shops, bought the goods and put them in the cupboard.
All that was left was housekeeping. Romelu Lukaku, whose nervy penalty-taking in Prague denied Jose Mourinho his first Super Cup, has been loaned to Everton, while Victor Moses, knocked down the pecking order by other arrivals, is a Liverpool loanee.
Neither will be able to line up against Chelsea. If Roman Abramovich owned every footballer and loaned them out, the Blues would have no one to play, which might be the ultimate masterplan.
In came Samuel Eto’o and Willian from Anzhi, to make up for Wayne Rooney deciding to stick with the Devils he knows.
But there is another measure of ambition at the Bridge. During the Russian owner’s decade in SW6, the one room of shame in the Fulham Road stadium has been the press bogs.
Everything else is Champions League standard, but the loos in the journalists’ domain beneath the East Stand have remained League Two, with overflowing bins, unseemly puddles and a sink which showered you rather than rinsing your hands.
Now the loos have been smartened up in time for the next onslaught of European games, which always attract coachloads of hacks from around the world.
When Barcelona play Chelsea at the Bridge, for instance, more than 300 potential Pulitzer winners have to be squeezed in.
A temple to bodily functions has been created with fluted splashbacks, a royal blue dado and a dryer which could take your fingers off. It also fires a laser light on your dripping mitts. Naturally it is a blue light.
In an odd way, we mourn the passing of the old paper towel dispenser, which would give one sheet to you, then deposit another on the floor. It’s a new era at Chelsea.
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