There are a few cardinal sins that bar staff should be aware of at any pub. Here’s three of them:

1) If there’s a man at the bar looking a bit thirsty, don’t wander away from the bar without acknowledging his presence, and then twiddle about with the lighting and television volume for a couple of minutes before finally going back to the bar to serve him – he may leave, unless he’s lucky enough to be visiting pubs as part of his job.

2) Punters will usually find it an unpleasant experience to sit down and find their elbows deep in the remnants of a spilled pint on a table. It’s best you clean the tables before they get there, rather then them having to do it themselves.

3) During an afternoon, when everyone just fancies having a natter with friends and colleagues, there is no need to have R’n’B blasting out well above speaking level. As an aside, no matter what time of day it is, if you haven’t got a dancefloor this sort of thing is unforgiveable.

Unfortunately, all three occurred at the King's Head, in Tooting Bec. And it’s a shame really, as generally the pub has a nice cosy feel to it, with an excellent decor. This afternoon there’s a good, mixed crowd of young and old (previous visits during evenings here have been well-populated, if not packed.

There’s also a big, and I do mean big, plasma screen but this is housed in a separate room if sport isn’t your bag.

My pint of Doom Bar (£3.26) was reasonable – it’s just a pity the little things weren’t done right.

The King's Head, 84, Upper Tooting Road, SW17 7PB

How the pub rates(out of five):

Decor: XXXXX Excellent, a nice cosy feel to it. it’s dark, but sets the mood well.

Drink: XXX Four different ales, standard lager selection, the drink tasted ok.

Price: XXX £3.26 for a pint of Doom bar is standard.

Atmosphere: XXX A good crowd, but never hugely busy – not that that’s a bad thing from this punter’s perspective.

Service: X Wandering off to twiddle about with knobs on the wall is obviously far more important than serving booze and cleaning tables.